love, your fav rookie homeowners
My husband and I are rookie homeowners. In our first home for just over a year now, we’re both learning how imperative maintenance can be. At the same time, our antics have been pretty entertaining. As a co-human, I recognize the looks from technicians. I want to laugh at me, too. But as a rookie homeowner, guy, I had to call you.
Dear pool guy – I’m sorry that you and I went back and forth for nearly an hour discussing the lack of effort from the pool pump. You claimed it was working, I claimed it was not. You said it was the filter, I said it was not. You said it was the jets, I said it was not. I wanted to run from you in embarrassment when you discovered that the root of the issue was a pair of wet sopping bathing suit bottoms caught in the mouth of our pool cleaner that we so lovingly named Jeff. I’m glad you weren’t interested in an explanation, and I understand that you had to charge me the $50 for your time.
Dear DirecTv technician – I’m sorry I took you seriously when you said to call you personally with any future issues. Please block my number now because we lose our satellite (is it even a satellite? who cares) every time it rains, and Florida in the summer might as well be Seattle.
Dear HVAC guy – nope, I didn’t know I had to put vinegar in that pipe monthly in order to keep it clean and keep our AC running. I’m sweating, so just fix it. Also, I’ll need you to come back monthly and put vinegar in that pipe.
Dear lawn guys – Yes, I know our one palm tree is dying of fungus. As a full-time working mom of a 10-month-old, would you like to hear how low on the list of priorities the life of a palm tree is to me at this time? My daily concerns consist of getting any sleep, getting my son to try solids, keeping the house clean and from catching on fire at all times, get the dog outside enough to go potty, fulfill all work duties, make dinner, and talk to my husband enough so that he knows we’re still married, and you wanna discuss a tree?