because laughing maniacally feels best when done together



It’s been a couple weeks now, but I’m still waiting for John Quinones to pop out with a camera crew and interview me about my decision…

So one of the most ridiculous things I had to do two weeks ago in preparation for Hurricane Irma was wait in line inside Walmart for cases of water.  After nonchalantly leaving the house with the intention of easily bringing back a few cases and some canned goods, I ended up having to go to FIVE different stores in order to find water of any sort.

Florida was in a bit of a panic.

I ultimately lucked out at a Walmart Marketplace.  You and I both know Walmart Marketplace is never too crowded.  I’m honestly not sure how they stay afloat. Any given Walmart… packed.  Walmart Marketplace though, where just groceries are sold?  Where you have to scan and bag your own things?

Tumbleweeds might as well blow by inside.

However, I wasn’t the only one who hoped the Marketplace would come through with cases of water that day.

I happened to arrive at the store as a fresh truck shipment of Aquafina was arriving.  Over the loudspeaker, they were requesting that the people flooding the drink aisle form a single file line so that cases of water could be loaded directly from the truck into their carts.  I hurried into line and soon found myself around the corner in the dairy section with an empty cart, 30th or so in line.  Other Floridians began to laugh with frustration when they’d turn the corner and see the line begin to extend far beyond me.

It slowly became insane.

It maybe took only about 25 minutes to get within sight of the cases.  Again, five stores later, the man hurling 24-packs into carts was nearly a mirage.  I found myself excited at the thought of bringing Aquafina home to my family.  I was a proud Mommy.  I DID IT.  I found the H20!!

I started carefully considering how many I should take since there was no limit.  A family of three, with a dog and a bunny.  Three?  Is that enough if we lose power for weeks? Four?  Is that too many?  What about other people who need water?

And then it happened.

I’m fourth from the Case Man when an elderly man in his late 80s approaches me.  He is headed towards the back of the line, but he stopped when he saw me.  I didn’t think I looked that kind on the surface, in fact I was pretty certain up until that moment that I had 100% Resting Bitch Face at all times, so this was, at least, reassuring.

“One case?” he muttered to me.

Did he work for Walmart Marketplace?  Was he coming through the line to let me know there was now a limit on cases?  Why is he posing it in the form of a question then?

“One case?” I repeated back to him.  No idea where this conversation was going.

“Yes, just one?” as he pointed to the area immediately in front of my cart and behind the man who was in front of me.  It clicked.

He was asking to get in front of me.

Before I ultimately reveal what I did in the comments section of this post on Hopeless Mom Antics’ Facebook page (, I want to know, what would YOU have done in my situation?

A recap:  You’ve driven to more than FIVE different stores in search of water.  You’ve waited half an hour inside this store as water’s been unloaded into others’ carts.  You’re not positive if by allowing him in front of you, he will take the last case.  You have people who have fairly waited behind you.

What would you have done?

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